THEskills, THEway.

After a very long hiatus, i',m back to blogging againn. hopefully this can last(:

yepp anw a hectic period had passed. just, to be exact.

Promos and stuff, as usual.

everyone was busy buzzing around with questions and well. srta last-min choing-ing haha.

those nerves got a little tense, oh wells.



started off with Physics and General Paper on Monday.

Economics on Tuesday.

Chemistry on Wednesday.

break on Thursday.

Mathematics on Friday(:

the full name as how I spelt the subjects were how the exam list was presented. at one go. sigh.



yes and it WAS a difficult period indeed. a test of so many things, both tangible and intangible i guess.

along the way, I discovered that peoiple can and do change A LOT within a short period of time. amazing i guess.

the hearbeat went faster as the days drew closer, and as Miss Q would put it

"it always seems impossible until it's over". true true :D

yupp and overall, i guess it was... hmm. no comments. leave it at that.



and of course, now that the exams are over, it's time for PLAY!

haha have been watching this K drama abt the restaurant.. romance+ family+ humour. quite ok.

oh and i think thats lee min ho as a waiter. haha quite funny. at e same time it really shows there's no shrot cut to success man.

work from the minute characters to one that made such a h.i.t. haha.



yupp so went out with AY, SQ and JN on Friday. cool cool, though we WERE tired.

walked ard orchard, and the ion shopping mall haha. how bout electron man.

OH more imptly, the conclusion we've come up with-- ion's merely high-tech, big with good air-con and errr.. high-class and what we as commoners commonly call "nothing to buy ONE". how bout TWO to buy? ok lamocrap. haha it's meant for people with good salary, good car, lots of time and perhaps the patience to see what u can buy in such a sho[[ing mall, termed "vivo-ish" (: HAHA.



okies so tmr gg to BATAM for s.h.o.p.p.i.n.g. cool? not coll? we'll see. one day shopping spreeee.

early morning day again though. haha but nvm. GO SEE SEE LAH.

nxt week and onwards.. will be all about PW and sports carnival.. and gg out haha!

gotta choing for PW stuff... way to go mannn :D



and looking forward to gg Korea and stuff, and to put things simple- enjoying life! yay.



all right, i shall end on a bold note- like how the words are bold,

CHERISH LIFE, COS LIFE'S NOT THAT GOOD.

ok that's quite crappy, but well, love it though it really doesnt seem like u can love it.



be bold, face it, accept it, conquer it,,,,,,,,

with a prayer.



SUZANNEEEE(:

gotta believe it. at least I see it.

This is rather madness, with thousand and one stuff to do.
yes as usual. what's new, honestly man.
and last week was horror, with PW esp. and pile of unfinished work.
haha went straight to sleep on Friday as was far too too tired!

BTW.the previous post on this blog had some error-- mad, couldnt publish it till today. blogger blogger has too many probs!(:
well and smth's wrong cos I am not able to change the colour of the font and stuff. wadever. well, learn to live with one colour haha.

and the whole cycle is repeating again man.
all this mad rush once again
but funnily, why am I influenced by it?
well, what can we do. the unsatisfiable human greed.
and perhaps the selfish wants, I would say.

and I'm feeling that i'm spinning on this endless top.
that leads to a place I am even unsure of.

but yet again, can I sit back and act as though all's good, well and fine?
it knocks just once. yes and I guess we've to really learn it the hard way and accept some facts
that life and school isn't all cheery and nice.
not those fantasy worlds we always hope to be in.

yepp, please make it tat I don't have to go through that all over again.
help me, please(:

shooting has resumed as well, haha at least shots were rather within control i guess.
and I should really learn to make them good.
and not satisfy for minimal i guess.

well, things just seem to be going in a direction I can't control.
I tried, and did my part.
But things just seem to be this way.
well, HR is always difficult to manage i suppose!

moving ahead, more stuff waiting for me to do.
sorry to those I've not been able to make it for some reason or other. man I will find more time kk(:
give me some time!

haha and to conclude, well,
just live life as the day goes by.

who knows what will happen next anyway?
FIREPROOF.
give me a break, off things I really can't face.

staying alive, thankful!

ok something's wrong with blogger. i'm typing in this "preview" section. ok it doesnat matter, as long as i get to update my dying blog. HAHA(:

anyway, yepp been more than a month since i last updated. busy with JCTs- june common test/ mid-year exams.

yes this whole stressed-up period is finally over.

but guess it's only a one- time thing. loads of stuff and many exams/ tests coming my way. BUCK UP Suzanne!

well, self-assessment tells me i'm ok with my subjects i hope. Mostly still working on learning the TACTICS of answering stuff.

rather different and really varies sometimes(:

yepp really need to push further to learn the right way man.

keep the spirit burning, i pray.

well, other than that, i guess it's mixed feelings all over again.

I put in my best effort, but i feel blinded by some things.

things i should have been able to look out for and stuff like that. i couldn't really break up the problems to look it in another way.

keep a calm mind, lesson 1.

to be honest, i'm feeling rather down since I have to constantly comfort myself and stuff. I feel guilty sometimes, esp to Mr N. really. I dunno why, but yes, I do have this feeling.

somehow, the hopes were down. I felt it, on myself too. smth I can't really explain.

and bingo, ur comments was smth I expected. i Thank you though, because u really know A LOT.

I will put in my best effort to APPLY(: yes I want to prove it more to myself, than anyone else. I really hope to.

Please give me the strength, I pray. to find the right means and ways to do it right, do it well.

yes and my talk has been bout acads, since i've changed my mindset about it. SLIGHTLY. for the better i guess?? hhaa.

continuing, PW is troublesome. really. thousand stuff to do, so many things to include. goodness, rather killer!

haha but we bid goodbye to Calvin, who returned to Msia. yepp so now we have FOUR people. feels odd? like there are so FEW of us! haha.

well, guess really gotta pick myself up and move on. for grades, did quite ok. at least didnt fall into the lower sections, and i'm really thankful. Homestly. no Ass though! but it's an indication, i know, by you, the almightly one.

that I must continue to strive hard, for ur ultimate glory! dust it off, look back to learn from lessons. and MOVEON.

yes btw, SS501's "my thoughts are bad" is really a good song!! haha Kpop, coolness. and "do you know"+"stand by me". haha OSTs of the drama.

argh, BOF is a bit in my mind.

Wish me all the best for the upcoming days ahead!

as always.

lub dub. the heartbeat.

i realised how much i miss my favourite shows, etc.
really, i want to watch tv and do as many stuff possible.
yes i know, these are rewards after accomplishing more important things i need to do(:
well. that's life(:
learn to love it.

yepp have been training for open shoot.
getting to know myself, as well as my pistol better. haha.
really, need to have this calm mind,
and hopefully things will all be good.
Competition this Friday, i'm going to do my best.
yes as what H.K says- DO your best(:. not TRY.

need to get rid of bad thoughts.
going to give my best and not be affected by anything else.
as what I wrote in my competition plan.
Lord, please help me :D

JIAYOU(:
I WILL DO IT.
NOT BY MY OWN STRENGTH.
but through him who empowers me!

yes, in the meantime, really gotta get down to do work.
FOCUS, is the key(:

cold sweat. no sweat.

what a night.
had diarrhoea, and the pain was unbearable.
man, didnt have a good sleep
and this is really CRAPPY.

had to wake up to go library for some research.
the main one.
rather cool.
and there are many many storeys.
so HIGH up.
mountains of books, oh wells.

had lunch at Bugis.

halfway through, stomach was rather upside down.

man, crappy feeling.

went library AGAIN after lunch.

was there for discussion firat actually.

mini class gathering?

yea rather coincidental but rather dull one i guess.
everyone's getting nuts over pw.
4 grps met at the library, here and there.
and searching for books- seriously needs patience.
manli was complaining.
and so was I.
but the satisfaction is GUARANTEED when u do find it(:

okay, so tmr's the day to be banished somewhere again.
thinking abt it, when was the last camp man.
Dec?
no,
June '08 i think.
well, hope it'll be good.
and pray that my stomack will give NO problems.
oh and that oral presentation will be good. really.
what a long journey.

five day camp, of rather English-y stuff haha.
gonna get to see old friends too,
that's a bonus i guess.

and things aside, i need to get into the motion.
urgently.
stop drifting,
stop dreaming.
get rea!

pull the trigger.

supposed to have some Chem make-up lesson.
yes last min cancellation..
pw meeting. rather okay, tried to edit as much as possible.

blank.

maybe my patience level needs to be heightened.
with certain issues I can't really tackle.
the nature of things, their human nature.
whatever they may be.
I need to practice control over temper.
I'm not playing this blaming game.
but when everyone is trying their best,
well,
do your part.
show it please.

okay, then delays cos of some stuff.. went to shooting range at 4pm.
and I realised I am breathing in highly polluted air.. with lead all over the place.
man. the pellets are indeed highly hazardous.

training today, made me realise a number of things.
yepp haven't been doing journal writing.
so made up today.. rather guilty.
looking at all trainings, many things to learn.
mistakes, etc etc. gotta make effort to bear things in mind.

never easy to make that decision. fifty times, even.
but when too much passes through your mind,
somehow,
you just can't pull the trigger.
full 100% focus, indeed.

many long, ardous journeys, I need to be strong.
and not be affected by things I know I shouldn't be affected by.
can you please lend me a helping hand?
thank you very much.


and I am scared.
of.
time.

settle down. time, my best companion.

FRIDAYYYY.

three tests today, yes very hectic day indeed.
did pw also, after school.
went back to kc and vs for some consultation with design teacher.
nice teacher indeed, helpful too(: coolness haha.
went back for Physics test, challenging. very.
then went for shootinggg haha.. shot at bout 5pm. rather late and stuff..
it was fine, not too OFF or snything, haha. good feeling i guess.
gotta watch my aiming area, yes(:

week has been okay, normal, or perhaps stressful?
there's always this constant reminder that things come and go.
when you have one, the other will go.
take it up, put it down.
easy come, easy go.
learn and accept it.
the way it is.
God's way for me.
a real, long, test that must happen(:

emotions fading away.
the particular day,
time,
moment.
the overwhelming feeling
that I never want to describe.
nobody knows the real emotions, or rather
thoughts running through my mind.
learn something--
words can indeed harm others.
deeply? perhaps.
you never know.

when doors are shut,
what goes on inside,
they can only guess.
for only HE knows.
the lover of my soul,
I will never let you go.

-
-
-
- WHIRL
-
-


how bout this--
"yes
NO.
yes
NO.
yes
I SAID NO.
I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU."
-- as someone says.

Then, I say--
you chose to say these.
and I mean CHOSE.
out of better alternatives.
and this
caused many scars.

-
-
- SADNESS
-
-
-

intimidation, fear, aggression
what other image do YOU want to portray in my life?
oh one more credit for you.
the hard work for----------------
and---------------.
OH other than that?
i am not too sure.
YOUR role?
maybe you dont even know

blinding, isn't it?



I cannot laugh because of you.
I have difficulty facing you.
this is what you want, isn't it?



a toast to you then--
well done.

goodnessgraciousme.

Happy Mothers' day to mummy and all mothers.
yepp noble people haha(:
what a day to appreciate them.
yes and many would say " is this day so special? why other days cannot appreciate them?"
yes, how true.
it always happens.. like when you try to be good.
but the next moment, you realise you've created so much trouble.

ok so went church today, yepp rather ok.
church leadership talk and stuff.
rather guilty for having heavy eyes.
really apologetic.
but thats wad happens when i slept late again.
man.
this is nuts.

no school tmr, which is very good news for me.
haha(:
do some stuff and get to BREATHE.
at least.
really hope i wont snap.
I wont.
I cant.
I shouldnt.
yes, stay strong.

hearing stories abot people who are so tied up in stuff that they done get to rest, etc.
sounds rather scary
but i mean
it's so true.
look at the mad rush everyone's in.
say whatever you like,
you know you're part of this somewhow.
this shit system that we are all in.
choices? wads there to choose.
yes i know, stop complaining, as some others might say.
consider ourselves lucky, etc.
yeah but human nature is like that.
give me the greener grass??

something heavy in my heart.
a fear, that i dont want to reveal.
perhaps it isnt anything much after all.
praise to you Lord Jesus Christ, as I would always think.

i guess this is just the way things are.
when communication takes place, there is bound to be some breakdown.
sometimes i wonder if i should sustain this mad thing.
forget it, whatever,
do as you please okay.
rude brat.
and i hope you wont discover im talking abt u.
who cares anw.

ignore? YES continue to ignore okay.
cant be bothered with you.
everytime you lift me to that high mood.
you will pull me right away from it.
once
twice
thrice
foolshness.
stupidity.
live a better life than this, Suzanne.

stay focussed on this course.
I need to. please, help me
Lord.